Our Beginnings

Long, long ago in an Orlando far, far away, perfect beings with round, fuzzy faces, floofy striped tails, and soft, rub-able bellies roamed wild, eating delicious treats which rained down from the ginger-colored skies. In the cold seasons, ice cream fell in crystalline flakes which landed on our perfectly boopable noses and were caught on our delightfully pink tongues. In the warm months, grains of crisped rice were carried on the waves of air. This rice would land on the delicate petals of flowers which held one thousand flavors. We would gather this rice, squish it between oh-so-fluffy paws and form balls of scrumptious crisped rice: coffee, chocolate, berry, and so much more. Life was good. Seriously, like, life tasted good.

One day, less perfect creatures appeared. Though they were clearly inferior, they did have hands… and that was nice. Hands = good. These vastly subordinate beings were called humans, and we quickly and benevolently taught them to appreciate the flavorful bounty of our home: Orlando, land of the pandas. (obviously) The humans tried really hard—bless their hearts—but they just couldn’t quite manage. They needed our help, and we needed their hands. Thus was our joint venture formed. With our superior palates and their opposable thumbs, we have brought the world a true culinary wonder: ice cream bars so decadent that they’d eat themselves if that weren’t really weird and cannibalistic and rice krispy treats which would explode with tastiness if not held together with marshmallow bonds.